Sunday, July 3, 2016

To All Students: Permission Granted

Dear martial art students (especially the Saturday morning and Thursday evening students of a particular gray-haired instructor),

You hereby have absolute unquestioned approval to engage in holiday eating festivities to your hearts (and belly's) content. Please enjoy such holiday favorites such as hot dogs, hamburgers, steaks, wings, ribs, watermelon, potato salad, macaroni salad (please leave some), corn on the cob, baked beans, potato chips, nachos, salsa, and all manner of cakes.

This is by no means intended to be a complete and comprehensive list of all permissible foods, rather it is merely a representative sampling intended to establish the general dietological groupings suitable for celebrations of independence from non-representative taxation authorities.

Furthermore, liquids of assorted colors, containing or not containing fruit, comprised of varying alcohol percentages may be consumed in diverse glass, aluminum, and red plastic containers.

Once all dietary explorations have been satisfied it is equally permissible to "assume the position" - being that of near or complete horizontal such that a deep meditative state may be acquired for 1 to multiple hours. This combination of eat, drink, sleep may be repeated as often as daylight permits.

The only requirement imposed upon my students is that they must find at or near dusk a location from which a splendorous show of celebratory controlled explosions may be viewed and accompanied by required ooh and ahhs for approximately 30 minutes. Subsequently, the last one to leftovers loses.

Upon return to class, questions will be asked, answers expected. Happy 4th of July.

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